Finding Our Village Meant Getting a Roommate
We had a rough night last night. The tiny guy has molars coming in, and I got about three hours of sleep because of it. Naps have mostly been a no go today. “How the f* are you writing a blog post then,” you ask? My best friend is laying down with him, trying to get him to nap; she saw me this morning and knows I am pretty burnt out today. I definitely never imagined having a roommate while raising a baby, but for us, it works.
Sometime last fall, my bff asked if she could store some things at our house. A couple weeks later, her seasonal job near her family’s place outside of town ended, and she came to stay with us while my husband was gone on a business trip to help out with the baby. She was living about forty minutes outside of town I hadn’t seen her much since I had the tiny guy, and it was such a relief to have an extra pair of hands around during the day. She started working in town again a few days a week, and staying over every so often. When she got a full time job in town, my husband and I had a quick chat and easily decided we should offer that she could stay with us until she felt like she was ready to get her own apartment in town. It was a no brainer for us; she was a low impact guest, she’s amazing with the tiny guy and often happy to babysit, and getting to hang out with my bff regularly despite being a new mom was too good to turn down.
It’s been a few months now, and while she’s not here every night, life feels a little more balanced and a little less isolated with her around. Often she gets home from work just as my husband is putting the baby to bed, and she and I decompress from our days in the kitchen in whispers together. It’s totally normal to have roommates before kids and marriage, but I feel like having a roommate as new parents makes so much more sense. You already don’t really have any privacy as a couple at this stage of life, so you aren’t losing out on that front by having someone else around. Everyone says it takes a village to raise a child, but in my experience as a new mom it’s really hard to mobilize your village in the moments you really need them; when you’re in sweats and haven’t showered and waiting for your ibuprofen to kick in and your child wants to read “Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb” for the eighteenth time that day. That’s when your single gal roommate wakes up, scoops the baby up, and tells you to go take a shower, she’s got him. I know it’s not an arrangement that would work for everyone, but I am so grateful that she is around enough that one of the only words my son can say yet is my bff’s name.